Golo
tarheel army mom: blog


ladies...this might come in handy

Published May. 15, 2008

Dear [____rejectee`s name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can`t imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald`s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can`t GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren`t you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend`s name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]



30 Comments


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Well, yes and no. But we'll just leave it at that. :)~

Oh no you didn't go there -- LOL omg LOL

Ummmm...yeah, I did....Am I lying though??? lol

hal...you are funny! :P

STILL says it's how ya wiggle that worm...lol Packy aka Kracka

Oh no you didn't go there -- LOL omg LOL

You didn't have to list them ALL!

haha!!

;-D

yeah I hear ya gagsta

Hey you knows that how we get down in the ghetto.

yr-HUH? you're such a thug! lol

I have been on youtube trying to find this dang song for like 30 minutes because I couldn't remember it! FINALLY found it! thought I'd share that! lol

lol @ yeahright...I bet!!!

I have a wide assortment of wife beaters to match my mood. I have my Dinner betta be ready when I walk in da door beater, my don't you eva talk back at me again beater, and my generic is you flippin crazy beater.

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